Sovereignty Read online

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  Copyright © 2018 by Ryan Michler

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  Publisher: Jesse Krieger

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  ISBN: 9781946697912

  DEDICATION

  To my wife, Tricia; my sons, Brecken, Eli, and Otto; and my daughter, Vivian. I may be my own man, but I wouldn’t be the man I am without you. You are the reason this is my life’s work.

  TABLE OF CONTENTS

  Introduction

  PART I: THE BATTLE

  Chapter 1: The Situation

  Chapter 2: The Choice

  Chapter 3: The Path

  PART II: THE MISSION

  Chapter 4: Protect

  Chapter 5: Provide

  Chapter 6: Preside

  PART III: THE CODE OF CONDUCT

  Chapter 7: Self-Reliance

  Chapter 8: Intentionality

  Chapter 9: Discernment

  Chapter 10: Wisdom

  Chapter 11: Ownership

  Chapter 12: Strength

  Chapter 13: Humility

  Chapter 14: Integrity

  Chapter 15: Conviction

  Chapter 16: Self-Awareness

  Chapter 17: Discipline

  Chapter 18: Mastery

  Chapter 19: Courage

  PART IV: THE BATTLE PLAN

  Chapter 20: Vision

  Chapter 21: Objectives

  Chapter 22: Tactics

  Chapter 23: After-Action Review

  Conclusion: Engage

  Appendix A: Code of Conduct Overview

  Appendix B: One-Page Battle Plan

  Appendix C: Battle Plan Tracker

  Appendix D: Resources

  What Next? The Iron Council

  Acknowledgements

  INTRODUCTION

  “The sovereignty of one’s self over one’s self is called liberty.”

  -Albert Pike

  Sovereignty (noun): the quality or state of having supreme power or authority.

  What is sovereignty? Perhaps it’s better to start by illustrating what sovereignty is not. To do that, you don’t have to look very far. Take a walk around your neighborhood. Take a stroll around your office. Have a conversation with your buddies. Everywhere you look, you’ll find the signs of men who have neglected their responsibilities as men and, in turn, have given up their sovereignty or, in other words, the power they inherently have to control the outcome of their lives.

  These men are no longer in control of their hearts and minds. They’ve traded their individual liberty and personal responsibility for a decent marriage, a steady paycheck, and a relatively painless life. In doing so, they have unknowingly enslaved themselves to their marriages, their jobs, and their governments.

  The shackles they willingly submit themselves to are hard to quantify (if they were easily spotted, men wouldn’t be so willing to give up their freedoms). These shackles come in the form of a marriage with “potential,” a fancy 401(k) and retirement package, and the promise of safety and security in exchange for just a small percentage of their paycheck.

  A man who has given up his sovereignty fabricates excuses. He tells himself stories. He feeds himself lies.

  All of this to justify the reality that he has given away the one thing that has the potential to allow him to be the man he is meant to be: his sovereignty.

  Unfortunately, it’s easy to maintain the status quo. After all, the truth—that we are living in a cloud of delusion magnified by a silent attack on the very traits that make us men—is hard to bear.

  This cloud of delusion makes everything feel real. We feel as if we command our minds, follow our heart, and take control of our bodies. We feel as if we’re in charge, but ultimately we are being controlled and manipulated by some outside force we can’t quite seem to see or understand.

  But if we look deeper, beyond the thick cloud of delusion, we already know that, don’t we? We can feel it lingering in the back of our consciousness. We can’t yet wrap our heads around it, but we know it’s there.

  The first step toward sovereignty is to lift the cloud of delusion. It’s not easy. It’s not pleasant. But it’s a necessity if you have any chance of overcoming the nagging thought that your life is not your own or that you know you’re destined for more but don’t know quite how to wrap heart, mind, and hands around it.

  This is about control. This is about ownership. This is about facing the ugly reality that you aren’t as good as you think you are and that the life you live today is not the one you’re meant to live.

  The answer to regaining control of yourself and lifting the cloud of delusion we all experience is the victory that lies only in becoming a Sovereign Man.

  A SOVEREIGN MAN

  A man who has battled for and reclaimed his sovereignty is a man who has decided to take ownership of his life and everything in it. This man recognizes that, although the world would have him believe otherwise, he has certain responsibilities. The only way to fully fulfill those responsibilities is to be the master of his life.

  A Sovereign Man protects himself, his loved ones, and those who cannot protect themselves. He provides—not just financially, but emotionally, mentally, and spiritually as well. He presides in that he leads himself, his family, and his community.

  It is painfully obvious that the Sovereign Man is becoming a rare breed. Take a look around society and you’ll see the results of a lack of Sovereign Men.

  The family unit is under attack. More and more young men and women are growing up without fathers. Crime is running rampant. Businesses are failing. Leadership at every level—from the home to the boardroom to the city, state, and national government—is all but nonexistent.

  It seems the plague of men who are more interested in shirking their responsibilities for the path of least resistance is growing by the day, and Sovereign Men are becoming an increasing rarity.

  Stepping through the cloud of delusion into the truth that you are called to be not just a man but a Sovereign Man is not an easy task. I know because I’m on the battlefield with you. I have two businesses to run. I have a wife to lead with. I have four kids who require me to be the type of man to which I’m referring. Add to that community service, spiritual obligations, and the endless requests for my time, and the task becomes nearly impossible.

  It seems that making ends meet, keeping a roof over our heads and food on the table, coupled with the infinite number of obligations I have is never-ending. How is it possible for me to focus on myself and regain, at least to some degree, my own sovereignty?

  In order to recapture your sovereignty, you’re going to need to understand the first truth I want to share with you: as important as it is to fulfill your manly responsibility to others, it’s imperative that you learn to take care of yourself. Because, at the end of the day, a man is responsible and accountable to himself first, then to the people he has an obligation to.

  And that is the essence of what it means to be a Sovereign Man: maintaining accountability and responsibility to yourself.
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br />   Unfortunately, I didn’t always live my life this way.

  LIFTING THE CLOUD OF DELUSION

  In October 2008, I had given away my sovereignty. The result was a broken man sobbing alone in a cold, dark room of the house my wife and I had built two years earlier.

  In that room, I was hanging on to a memory of the family I had driven away. It was a picture of my six-month-old son. Through my tears I told the boy in that picture, “I will find a way to get you back.”

  Leading up to that event, I had spent two years giving away my sovereignty—and all the power that goes with it—to my wife, my employer, the economy, my father, the government, and anyone and anything else that placed itself between what I wanted and where I currently was. The demise of my sovereignty manifested itself in the lies and excuses I had fabricated to justify my lackluster business, my poor health, and my failing marriage.

  I didn’t believe it could possibly have anything to do with me. I’m a man. I’m the man. I’m supposed to have this all figured out. Yet, there I was with my business, my marriage, and my world crumbling around me. I was alone in a dark room, broken by the world I had created for myself (or, more accurately, what I had given away to others).

  Just a few days earlier my wife and I had gotten into an argument. I can’t tell you what it was about. I’m sure it wasn’t anything worth fighting over, but the months and years of disagreements and discontent had come to a boiling point that evening when the words “I don’t even want to be married to you anymore” slipped out of my mouth.

  She agreed. And the next day she was gone.

  “How could she do this to me?” I thought.

  “How could she be so disloyal?”

  “How could she take my son away from me?”

  “Why didn’t she appreciate what I did for the family?”

  “Why wasn’t she doing the things a good wife should do?”

  I asked myself those questions. I said those things to myself, and worse.

  And for a long time, I blamed her. It had to be her fault. It couldn’t possibly be mine. I was the man, after all. I was bringing home an income. I was growing a business. I had bought her a home. I had served my country as a soldier in Iraq.

  From the outside, I was doing it all right. I had this all figured out. But it become apparent that I did not. I don’t remember why or how, but as I was on a drive one day, I came to a conclusion and a revelation that would alter the course of my marriage, my business, and my life.

  For the first time during my separation with my wife, I told myself the truth that our marriage might be over. And, if that was the case, as much as I hated to admit it, I resolved to be the greatest catch for the next woman to come into my life.

  That’s when it all clicked for me. I had been blaming her. But what I failed to realize is that as I was blaming her, I was simultaneously giving her all the power I had once possessed to make something of myself. You see, if it was her fault, then all I could do was wait for her to do something about it. And that is why I felt so powerless. I was.

  The moment I began to accept responsibility for my part in the demise of our relationship, the more I began to wrestle control back in my life. The more I faced the reality that I was inadequate in our marriage, my business, and my life, the more I gave myself the power to do something about it.

  When I stopped focusing on her and, instead, decided to focus on myself, she responded to me. I still remember the day she called me and told me she wanted to come back home.

  That was nine years ago. This year marks our thirteenth anniversary. We have four incredible children and two thriving businesses. We make more money than we ever have. I’m stronger and healthier than I’ve ever been. And we literally have the white-picket fence (I put it up myself a couple of months ago).

  Things aren’t easy. We don’t live the perfect life. She and I still disagree from time to time. My businesses have their ups and downs. But I have created a roadmap for taking ownership, power, and control of my own life—for wrestling back my heart and mind.

  I took the concepts I learned when working through my failing marriage and applied them to my health, relationships, finances, and every other facet of my life. Whether you’re trying to save your marriage (as I was), grow a business, lose thirty extra pounds, secure a job promotion, or build your bank account, what follows in these pages is the roadmap for making that a reality—for becoming a Sovereign Man.

  It’s not an easy path. It’s not the fast track. It’s a painstaking process that will take you years—and a lot of blood, sweat, and tears—to implement. If that’s something you’re not willing to accept, I’d encourage you to put this book down and keep making excuses and giving away all your power.

  If, on the other hand, you’re ready for a change and ready to do the work required to see it through, the information contained in this book will show you how. It all starts with you, the Sovereign Man. The good news is you already have everything you need. We just need to uncover it.

  PART I

  THE BATTLE

  “Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.”

  -H.L Mencken

  Make no mistake, we are at war. Every time we get out of bed. Every time we go in to work. Every time we engage with those we care about. Every time we’re called to complete a task. It is a battle.

  But it’s a battle worth fighting. It’s a noble cause. If won, the battle will lead to tremendous success on every front for yourself and those you care about. If lost, it will lead to a life of complacency, mediocrity, dissatisfaction, and discontent.

  Some may argue that using the word “battle” is sensational. I agree. But I use the word intentionally. Too many men have taken a passive approach to their lives and, in turn, have created a life they’re not at all proud of living. If framing every waking hour of your day as a battle gives you the power to wrestle back control of your life, that’s the word I’m going to use, sensational or not.

  That aside, taking control of your life will have its fair share of challenges. It wouldn’t be worth it if it didn’t. The difference between all the experiences I remember and the ones I don’t are those memories of hardship, struggle, trial, and adversity.

  Sure, it would be nice to live in a world where we never had to test ourselves—but only for a while. Truth be told, we, as men, are built to fight. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. When we remove the need for battle in our lives, we strip away all the qualities that make us men in the first place: anger, aggression, rage, violence, dominance, and strength.

  Unfortunately, we’ve been told those qualities are to be shunned and that we should be embarrassed of the desire to be this kind of man. So, in a misguided attempt to keep society safe and free from conflict, the warrior within us has been silenced. Silenced by our school systems, the government, the media, our friends and family, and, unfortunately, ourselves.

  You can feel it, right? I know I can. For too long I sat silently by as I was conditioned to believe that men should “sit down, shut up, and do what we’re told.” Only when society is in trouble (conflict, natural disaster, etc.) are we given “permission” to be the kind of men we know we are meant to be. It’s as if we have been caged and leashed and only called upon when needed.

  But what if there was a better way? What if there was a way to take all that we already are and harness that power to become all we are meant to be?

  There is. This is the battle I’m talking about. It’s a battle for your Sovereignty. It’s real. It’s brutal. And it’s exciting. John Eldredge, author of Wild at Heart, says, “Deep in his heart, every man longs for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue.” There is something calling to you. It calls to every man. It’s the sound of battle. Although we may define our battles differently, every man hears the battle drums.

  If you have any hope of winning this battle, you must be equipped with the tools re
quired to thrive. You must recognize the situation in which you find yourself. You must recognize the enemy. You must make a choice to either enter the fray or continue to watch life pass you by.

  CHAPTER 1

  THE SITUATION

  “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”

  -Henry David Thoreau

  There was a time in my life when I was the very man Henry David Thoreau was talking about when he said, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” I was fifty pounds overweight, my marriage was in shambles, my finances were a wreck, and my mind was lost in a sea of negativity and overwhelmed at the position I found myself in. As I began to share my story of personal failure and setback with the men closest to me, I began to see a disturbing trend: most men, although they were good at masking it, were also leading lives of desperation.

  Take one metric, the alarming rate of suicide in men today (one study suggested that suicide rates among men are up to three times higher than that of women), and you’ll understand how bad it really is. Odds are that you or someone you know is experiencing anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts. What makes matters worse is that there is an unwritten rule that says you and I, as men, are not supposed to talk about our weaknesses, struggles, and shortcomings.

  For as long as history can remember, it has been the man’s responsibility to have everything figured out. When things go wrong, everyone looks to the man. When there’s no money coming into the household, people look to the man. When there’s an emergency or disaster, people look to the man.

  Makes sense, right? We are supposed to have it all figured out. We’re men, after all. And if we don’t have things under control, we’ll be led to believe we’re not as manly as we’re supposed to be.

  So, we walk around with a happy face. We puff out our chests. We put up a wall. And we pretend. We pretend we don’t have emotions. We pretend nothing gets to us. We pretend we have it all figured out. The reality, however, is an entirely different story.